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A few days before writing this article, I was invited to attend the wedding of a very meek lady that in all pure conscience, I would prefer to call a sister, not because we’re blood relatives, but because of her positive attitude to life and good human relations. As a personal culture imbibed for years, wherever I go, my first assignment is to be observant. I derive a lot of inspiration from observation; that inspiration acts as my motivation in jotting down life-changing information as a success blogger and writer.

The wedding was supposed to start 10:00am, and I was so much in a rush not to be late. I think I got there 10:00am on the dot.

As I stepped into the church auditorium with an expectation to see people praying, singing or dancing, I was shocked that besides the people decorating the auditorium, everywhere was empty. Then it dawn on me that, ‘Ken, it’s like you’ve forgotten the African time mentality.’ So for about one hour, I had to sit down waiting for when the service will commence. For years, I hadn’t experienced that because the organisation I belong to is time conscious.

In order not to waste one precious hour of my life, I decided to start doing a micro-blog on the social media, and then made a number of important phone calls. As I didn’t want to disturb other people in the auditorium, my best option was to go outside to make my calls.

In the middle of my call, whilst having an important conversation regarding my next engagement for the day, I subconsciously turned around to change my direction, and what I saw made me scream aloud, and I said to her, ‘must you wear it? Do you want to hurt yourself? Take it off!’

I was speaking to a woman; a member of the bridal train, who almost fell on the floor by tripping five times because of the unusually high heel shoes she wore. If she hadn’t held on to the vehicle parked beside her, she would have broken her ankle. The heel of the shoes is one of the lengthiest I have ever seen. And as she couldn’t walk, she held on to the wall of the church, and with tip-toes, managed to get into the building.

When I went back to the auditorium, I noticed that all the members of the bridal train wore the same type of shoes, but the others felt, maybe, comfortable with it, whilst she didn’t, yet, wore it.

As I thought about how this young lady would have hurt herself wearing what is good for others, but definitely not for her, I began to consider how, many people are so enthusiastic at pleasing others at their own peril.

Some people study courses that they don’t have a clue of, to please their parents; be like their friends, follow societal expectations, or because of the buzz around it.

Whilst in the University, I had a classmate whose father was a Mathematics professor. This guy wanted to study medicine, but opted for biochemistry when he couldn’t make it into medical school. In all honesty, he was the least intelligent person in the class. He could hardly balance an equation, let alone, understand, what we call in biochemistry, structures. To cut the long story short, he was thrown out of the department.

He confided in me that he was in sciences to make his parents happy. For that, he wore a pair of shoes with twelve inches heel. Must he wear it?

Another aspect of life where people wear shoes that don’t fit is marriage. Apart from parental involvement, societal expectation is a bedevilling factor for some people getting married. Many don’t take into cognisance the psychological maturity needed to live forever with someone whose background, personal culture and beliefs differ. They jump in because everyone is doing it, therefore, they must also do it. So when they go ahead to say, ‘I do,’ they actually end up doing themselves much wrong.

Some people are heavily indebted because they either want to be like their neighbours or outdo them. So they live in houses that are far bigger than or equal to their incomes, and as a result,  other things suffer.

Designer wears are good when you have surplus income; I am not against it; putting your children in high fee paying private schools is excellent, if you can afford it; living in the best location in town is good if you have the resources; but what you shouldn’t do is wear the responsibilities that will make you break your ankle, because you want to compete with the other person. It is against success principles not to be prudent in making life changing decisions.

Wear it if you’re comfortable with it, but if not, must you wear it?!

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Ken is a leadership Motivation, Strategy and Personal Development Writer, Blogger and Speaker. He writes for a number of magazines and blogs. He is also a mentor and published author of several books.

1 Comment

  1. Pretty Princess Mkandla

    I have to say I have been reading your blog posts,Oh my what an inspiration your words are. The power of the Holy Spirit is manifest in your writing. May God continue to bless you so you can bless us more and more.

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