How to get your life back and begin to live again after feelings of despair and hopelessness
You woke up this morning feeling dejected, forsaken and forgotten. As you stepped out of bed, you asked yourself, “Why did I ever wake up – I should have slept forever and ever, so I can forget this misery I found myself?” Life was like the oddest thing that ever happened to you. The breaking of every new dawn was your heartbreak because nothing on earth has been fair to you. In your imagination, heaven has shut its door against you – even hell refused to entertain you. The mischief of life has come down heavily on you. Every misfortune tends to find in you a dwelling place. You are shattered and knackered. All hopes seem to be lost. All dreams have become illusion. Your world has suddenly come to an end!
As you worried on how to get the solution to that problem, you thought of all the good family members and friends you have. To each of them, you went, but none opened their doors to listen to you, let alone, help you. All the brothers and sisters you stood for in the past have forsaken you. Your very best friends made excuses why it is impossible to help you. You’ve reached the end of the road. You’ve done your best, but your best wasn’t good enough. It’s like a silent night with no light.
Listen: you really need to listen.
Some days, you’re high, and you feel you can bring down a mountain, and some other days, you’re left wondering and moaning why life has been so unfair to you. It is easy to manage the days of motivation, but true strength isn’t seen when everything goes well; it is conspicuous when everything turns against you. Your reaction to the exuberance of life and situations is what determines your courage to win. Your dream will be over if you don’t stand up, dust yourself and carry on. You must realize that as you walk, run or fly, there’ll be accidents or incidents; how you respond to it is what will decide your final outcome. You can decide to go off track and surrender while midway when things appear not to be working. You can decide to get vexed because someone crashed or clashed with you. Or you can decide to say to yourself, “It is part of the process to intermittently fail when the race hasn’t ended, therefore, I will not surrender until I get to the finish line.” If that is your decision, even if you don’t win a medal for global recognition, you have won a diamond for being a person of courage and strong character. Walter Anderson said, “Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.”
When you’re down, your inner fire will dwindle, but when it does, what would you do to get yourself back to where you were and beyond?
1. Remember that YOU’RE ON A MISSION: a man on a mission can fail, stumble and wobble. Being a good person, having everything perfectly laid out, and being highly motivated does not mean the outcome will be favorable. When most of the time, it isn’t, you must pause and say to yourself, “It isn’t just a single journey, I AM A MAN ON A MISSION.” Missions consist of marathons and visions; if you lose a single race, you can still win the competition.
On certain fronts, many people drop points and assume that the game is ended because they’ve forgotten that it’s a mission. To keep your energy on, you must repeatedly remind yourself that you are on a mission. All your cells must be continuously reminded until they can recite it in your sleep. Without that resonance, all you’ll hear from your inner voice is defeat because that is the information it is exposed to. Know it, YOU ARE ON A MISSION. Say that to yourself all the time.
2. Be ready to start over again, if need be. Don’t die where you failed. Don’t burn where you were disappointed. Pick yourself up, wipe your tears and carry on. If you’re sincere with getting up and moving on, in a few years from now, you’ll look back and not find what made you cry. And what made you cry will become your turning point, and will form part of your training material for helping those who are down. You were down for a reason; to make you one of the most inspiring mentors to live on planet earth.
3. Increase the resolution of what you see: pictures get better with higher resolutions. If you see nothing, you get nothing. If you see blurry, you may get something but maybe, not what you expected. To get your intention on your hands, your mental picture must be sharp and clear – you must identify what you really want, and keep seeing a clear image of what you want. When you’re down, it is your image that will pull you up. When you’re out, it is your image that will bring you in. Your image never isolates you. Having a vivid imagination of where you’re going takes you out of the pit. You can’t compete with the best without seeing a picture of you withstanding the best. If all you see is having the autographs of the best, you will never step out to compete with the best. If all you see is taking selfies with the best, that’s where you will end up. Respect the best, but never worship the best because YOU ARE THE BEST – god don’t worship god. You are not arrogant if you believe that!
4. Remember, YOU ARE UNDER WATCH: when you embrace destiny, you aren’t a spectator anymore; you are a competitor – stop yelling like a spectator; run the race. You are now under the watch of those seated in the spectators’ stand; you are now under the watch of those on the sideline. You are an inspiration to a few of those who want to join the race; if you give up, they’ll be discouraged from getting involved. If there aren’t new entrants, when the old retires, and some die, the race itself will die, and competitions that keep the world going will gradually evaporate.
You are under watch; don’t let those who are enthusiastic about life pull back because you, who is already on the scene refused playing your role on the stage. You are under watch; don’t stop believing that YOU CAN. You may have stumbled; that doesn’t mean you should crumble – if you do, there’ll be double trouble.
5. Learn Learn Learn: fall only inspires if you learn some lessons from it. In life, we must learn from good and bad times. Our lessons make us win. You didn’t go down for nothing; you did so that you can gather enough momentum to project into the high sky. So learn, and don’t think you’ve come to the end. Just when you think you’re finished, your life has just begun. Respond to that situation or circumstance positively; get up and fly. You were born to fly!
6. There is no motivation, independent of its strength and its power to superbly persuade, that you’ve never heard. One way or the other, it’s been said to you or spoken using different channels or rhetoric. And nothing will be spoken tomorrow and beyond that you’ve never also heard. The difference between where you are and where you feel you should be is action. Every chain will lock your feet. Every wall will stand in your way. Every sea will spring from beneath to stop you, but what impediments don’t have the power to do is to determine your doggedness to beat the odds. Your success is your resolve. It will never be easy, has never been and must never be. Champions emerge by overcoming the impossible. So stop wailing behind the high walls – step into the cold and show you have the effrontery to challenge the bests. No fidgeting – just go for gold!