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Recently, I went through a tumultuous condition – it was like everything wrong was working against me – I was deflated and utterly knackered. For a couple of days, I was in bed looking depressed and worn out, but I knew that my personality wouldn’t let me remain in that condition for long. I’m a man who, in spite of being down, never remain down – somehow, I always find a way to bounce back, and believe me, I do bounce back.

As I sat on that bed lamenting on certain things that have happened, I realised that there may be hundreds of thousands of people around the globe subjected to various challenges, and who may not have the energy to recuperate, not because they don’t want to, but because they don’t have the knowledge to. As I took myself out of bed to confront the antipathy daring me, I made a decision to share the tips that got me out of despondency. Here, I am determined to hand out 10 tips of what to do when you lost all motivation for life or ambition for everything.

1. Stop Living in Denial

The worst decision to make in your down moments is pretending that everything is fine. If it’s not fine, it’s not fine – don’t lie to yourself. Being honest with yourself about your situation does not make you a weak person – it actually makes you strong. Without appreciating or coming to terms with what your status quo is, there’s no way you’re going to come out of it. Self deception is another class of psychological disorder – don’t compound your problem by sweeping your challenges under the carpet. For the fact they’ve been put out of sight does not mean they’re non-existent. So, first thing first, acknowledge the situation.

2. Cry it Out

Sometime ago, I lost a very close relative, and right inside the underground train, I was weeping – one of my friends was sitting beside me. As a close person, I thought he was going to console me, but he didn’t. Instead, he said, Ken, ‘Cry it Out.’ I was like, this guy must be wicked, but crying it out worked. I felt relieved after weeping for a while. The problem with most people is that they try to be supermen – they don’t want to cry – they want to be heroes, but crying sometimes sets you free. I look like I never cry, but I do. I look like nothing hurts me, but it does. I look like I am unperturbed by debilitating circumstances, but I am perturbed. I won’t lie, it gets on me sometimes, and I am not ashamed to say it does!

3. Never Ever Isolate Yourself

When a lion wants to kill a prey, he isolates him from the pack (I’m personifying the animals). Isolation is deadly because it makes you feel lonely and rejected. Most people that commit suicide, first keep away from everyone. You’re easier to deal with by circumstances when there’s no one to talk to, or when you’re making yourself unreachable. Get out of your cocoon and talk to someone. You don’t need to share your problems with them – just engage with the outside world – see the sun, see the brightness of the day, and romance the atmosphere outside your hemisphere. You feel healthier and stronger when you don’t isolate yourself.

4. Seek Help

You need help, so seek help. Seeking help does not necessarily mean you should go to a professional counsellor, but if need be, please do it – your friends can be your helpers. There is the need to open up to a few people, and let them know what your experiences are. One or two words they’ll share with you can make a whole difference in the situation. You can’t deal with life all alone – there must be people you run to, and make sure they’re the right people, because some people take you further into crisis, rather than bailing you out.

5. Go to Work

Do something with your time. If you’re employed, go back to work and keep yourself busy. Sometimes, certain problems don’t require holidays – just go back to work – the more you work, the more you forget what the situation is, and sometimes, by working, you get ideas of how to deal with the obdurate circumstance. I say this because I know how that has helped me – I went back to work. As I went, I thought I was doing myself injustice – the day began dispirited, but as it dragged on, it became better, and I felt better.

6. Be Inspired by the Situation

I speak from a personal experience – I get deflated by certain circumstances, but I manage to make it another source of inspiration. For instance, this article was born out of my down moment, and what I’m sharing were exactly what I did. This period, I wrote, in one week, over three articles – I wouldn’t usually do that because of so many commitments. This season, my commitments were even more, but somehow, my fire was kindled by my inconvenience and painful situation. Instead of being down for life, pick yourself up and let your flame burn to the high heavens.

7. Watch Movies

There was a TV Drama Series I watched on Netflix – it’s called Designated Survivor. The movie was so comforting when I was down, as it taught me how to manage crisis, make decisions in chaotic times, and do negotiations. Believe me, some of the decisions that helped me through my challenge were formulated from lessons learnt in that movie. So I advise you to watch movies – you may not learn anything from them, but they’ll get your mind occupied, which will free you from dwelling on the negatives.

8. Analyse What Happened

Never go through a problem without finding out what went wrong, and how you made it right or wrong. Where you’re wrong, take responsibility, and where you’re right, stick to being right in spite of being punished. There is the need for prognosis – the need to diagnose and prescribe solutions to the lethargic circumstances that befell you. Analyse what happened, so that you’ll be more cautious in the future, if it’s avoidable.

9. Keep a bit of Your Fears

This sounds very stupid and inconsiderate. How on earth can you keep a bit of your fears? When I was challenged by an unwanted situation, it became my driving force to push myself beyond my limitations – I made some progresses. When the situation started easing off, I began to get a bit comfortable, and that drive that motivated me to do better started fading. When I observed it, I wasn’t happy – what I did was to revert to a bit of the fears so that it can be an inspiration to give me the kick to do better. It worked!

10. Move On!

Whatever the situation is, move on. Whatever the problem is, move on. Learn to leave the problem behind no matter how threatening it might be. Live your life – enjoy your life. If the problem doesn’t want to die, it will, eventually, when you push it behind you. Do all you can to solve the problem, but if it proves too stubborn, time will embarrass it.







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Ken is a leadership Motivation, Strategy and Personal Development Writer, Blogger and Speaker. He writes for a number of magazines and blogs. He is also a mentor and published author of several books.

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