I believe this is a funny title, but come to think of it, there are many people, especially those in management or leadership positions that have been conned by sycophants, whose inner motives were for their own selfish ambitions. Unfortunately, so many people who lead haven’t been able to realise that some folks who are near, are in true sense, far away from them. There are some chief executives that have been ruined by those who come like angels of light, but are actually devilish. Anyone whose intention it is, to promote selfish desires, where there is need for everyone to benefit, is misfit in your line of leadership structure.
Besides management or leadership, in personal lives, some people have been fooled by sycophants for certain reasons, and sometimes for no reason. What sugar coated tongues do is to make you see the beautiful periphery but never instruct you on what lies within. The painful bit is that what lies within is the real thing; what lies without is only the packaging. I don’t know how many people, after buying a product, store the package at home, no matter how beautiful it is.
In every atmosphere of life, you find sycophants and sugar-coated tongues. I cannot, in this small piece of article dig too much into many ways in which these personalities ruin good people or make good people look like bad people. The worst leaders or people on earth aren’t as bad as those behind the scene. Those who advice them are worse than them, whether they are the provocateurs, the indifferent or the silent.
To manage sugar-coated tongues, you must first know how to identify them if you’re genuinely desirous of truth, honesty and fairness. In my little understanding, I have come to realise that these people;
Never criticise your wrong in spite of the obvious: As humans, there are certain decisions we make or actions we take that from within, we know they are wrong. But when someone around you, in spite of the glaring evidences doesn’t see anything wrong in every of those decisions or actions, that person may pose a big problem to you. Every wrong you do is right to a leech.
Never take a stand on anything: Until a sycophant or sugar-coated tongue hears your own opinion, he never takes his stand. The moment you declare your position, he immediately assumes that position.
Pose like someone who wants to help: Where help isn’t needed, they want to help. Where advice isn’t required, they want to advice.
Are men-pleasers: They please with an intention. They please with a goal in their hearts.
Fence you from good people: Sycophants and sugar-coated tongues know good and genuine people. The moment they spot any of these people getting close to you, they look for means to discredit them so that they take you far away from them. They understand that your closeness with such people will dilute their closeness to you.
Are gossips: In order to pretentiously care, one negative attribute of sycophants and sugar-coated tongues is gossip. They whisper into your ears what everyone is doing, especially those they consider as threats.
How can you deal or manage such people?
Determine their intention: When people become too close for comfort, determine their intentions. You do this by asking yourself certain questions like, ‘”Why is this person doing this?” “What does he have to gain?”’ Without knowing the intention, you won’t know how to deal with such people. Knowing the intention will help you realise what he stands to gain, and if the gain is ulterior, take it away. The moment it is taken away, the person’s attitude will change.
Stop loving the attention: The problem with most people is that they love the attention of sycophants and sugar-coated tongues. This is what encourages such people to carry on with their acts. Some people love the attention until it harms them. When it harms, it becomes almost too late.
Be honest with your wrong: You don’t need anyone to tell you that you’re right when within universal standards of observation; your wrong is purely indicated. Being dishonest with your actions and decisions opens the gate for sycophants and sugar-coated tongues to walk in.
Never accept every praise: You may have done well and deserve praise, but sometimes, hand those praises to other people who contributed to the success. Many times, after a football match, the man of the match when interviewed, rather than take the praise, acknowledges that it was a team work. That’s what you should do. When that is done all the time, sycophants and sugar-coated tongues will hide their faces.
Be discerning: I think this is the most important point; you have to intuitively understand those around you. Using your subconscious is very important in succeeding in life, career, profession or talent.
Don’t be trapped by spicy words or attitude; determine who is truly right, and what is genuinely right. Make your decisions; make right decisions.