What a scary title, or maybe funny, and probably stupid. Whatever you tag it, you may, in all likelihood be right, because anyone in his sane mind wouldn’t wake up one morning to decide coming up with some bogus, senseless article title. But if you patently want to know the truth, happiness actually commits suicide. Valerie Bertinelli writes, “Happiness is a choice. You can choose to be happy. There’s going to be stress in life, but it’s your choice whether you let it affect you or not.” Many people let it affect them, and because they do, they cause themselves great harm. Some harm are suicidal – suicide isn’t only the termination of life, but what is life if happiness is absent?
Some people are unhappy but don’t even know why they are. If you ask them why, they surprisingly can’t tell you – all they know is that they’re unhappy. And the day they become happy, they’re wondering why they are, because for them, happiness is unusual. Isn’t it shocking to know that some people are scared of being happy because they feel it wouldn’t last – so they choose what in their opinion would last; unhappiness!
Those who savour unhappiness enjoy making other people miserable – they get upset when they see people glow. To them, the world is coming to an end when happy people occupy their space. Candidly speaking, most unhappy people were once happy, but somewhere along their life’s journey, an encounter dropped them in atmosphere of tenebrosity. Where did this all begin, and when did their direction switch from radiance to deviance? One or more factors are responsible for many people’s unhappiness, but the few I have identified are as follows.
1. Too much ambition – I am one person that encourages people to be very ambitious and to pursue goals, but I have also identified that too much ambition leads to disappointments and frustrations because they never come to pass. When you dream too much, you become a victim of your dream. When you desire too much, you become a victim of your desires. Until you understand that all dreams don’t come true, you will keep scotching your own happiness. It is great to dream but not all your dreams will come to pass – some will be fulfilled, and unfortunately, many won’t. There are many reasons why great and multiple dreams are essential beyond coming to fruition; you don’t just dream because they will all come to pass – you dream for many reasons. One day, I will tell you the many reasons why people must dream.
2. Expectation from other people – a man spent all he had for his only son; he sent him to private schools from nursery to secondary. He expected that one day, his son will grow up to become one of the topmost medical doctors in the world, but while in secondary school, he joined the wrong crowd. The story concludes with his son going to jail for armed robbery and getting hooked on hard drugs. All the money spent and all the dreams hoped for ended in nightmare. The man was so devastated that he became depressed – his expectations came to abrupt disappointment. This is just one of thousands of illustrations. Why would a man hand over his happiness to another man, no matter how emotionally attached they may be? Yes, your elder brother is a multimillionaire, but should that make you put your financial future in his hands, and got depressed when he disappointed you?
3. Thinking money solves all problems: money is so important – it can buy almost everything on earth, but it really doesn’t buy everything. Some people chase money until money chases them into the grave. The money you think you need to be happy, when you get, you will discover that your happiness will last only for a season, and after that season, your inner vacuum of loneliness will resurface. When you get disappointed that your money couldn’t give you the boundless joy you expected, your sorrows and pains will double. The most unhappy people are those who thought money would give them happiness, but it didn’t.
4. Too much grieve: losing your husband does not mean you should grieve for life, neither does losing your wife. Some women grieve until they join their late husbands in the grave, and so do some men. If you have a setback, it’s normal to feel the pains, but don’t feel it forever. Some previously happy people have lost their spark and slipped into depression because they don’t know where to quit anguish. Happiness commits suicide when there’s more than necessary grief.
5. Letting the weather determine your day: many times, I hear people in the UK talk how miserable the day is because it’s either raining or snowing, and I never cease to wonder how a person would let the weather dictate the outcome of his day. If the weather decides your state of happiness, you definitely have a problem.
6. Absence of community life: my mother-in-law lives in an area in Lagos Nigeria called Lagos Island. For anyone that knows Lagos Island, you can tell how crowded and noisy it is. We wanted to move her to a quiet area but she vehemently objected – we weren’t happy with her reaction but we obviously understand her point. As an aged woman, she wants to live where there is a strong sense of community spirit. My uncle, a retired senior lawyer relocated from the city to the village in order to get closer to his people – he’s never bored because there are always people in the house to look after him. You can’t live alone in an island and expect to be happy. This is one problem senior citizens in the western world suffer.
7. Extravagance: some people spend themselves into unhappiness, sponsoring lives they can’t afford. Going beyond your means through loans and credit cards is absolute madness. Some people are obsessed with fashions they can’t afford and so use the credit cards until they nearly go bankrupt. Extravagance is stupidity and can lead to indebtedness – indebtedness doesn’t make you happy.
Jim Rohn said, “Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.” If you want to be happy, begin now – stop pushing it into the future, because without happiness, there actually isn’t a future!