How to stop living in fear
Daring is not stupidity. It is not taking un-calculated risks. It is facing the bully face to face, and saying to him, ‘You can’t stop me.’
Many threatening situations have tried to stop me physically, mentally and spiritually. For years, I have feared many things, and for the fears, I have unjustly limited my ability to make a difference in my world. One big lesson I have learnt is that when fear can’t stop you physically, it goes into your dreams to cause you nightmares. The dangerous aspect of nightmares is that it plays with your mentality and emotions. Because anything that affects your mind affects your life, your health and physical well-being will begin to dwindle. Fear is the worst killer. Its armory is nightmare. Dare your fears. Dare your nightmares.
I will repeat a story I told in one of my previous books. One day, in my dream, I was walking along a road trying to make headway. At that point in my life, for real, everything was sour. It was like I was falling down a bottomless pit. The more I made efforts, the more I failed. I became an object of ridicule because life itself didn’t just incarcerate me but sent me on exile. But I was determined to survive!
In that dream, I got to a point on the road where the next bit of the journey was to walk through a dark forest. Without walking through it, the only alternative would be to go back. As I didn’t want to go back to the same level of life, I decided to dare this frightening forest. And as I walked into it, I couldn’t see myself as it was unimaginably dark. I was extremely terrified; nevertheless, I kept going. My determination took me to a point where I began to notice moving vehicles on a road beside the forest, and with their headlamps, I regained visibility. The lights from the cars guided me until I came out of the forest to a high street. The high street was flooded with light.
My journey continued on that high street until I came to a house which was my final destination. In that house, those who made the journey without cutting corners were being rewarded. I was handed a beautiful gift.
What followed after I collected my gift was interesting. I saw a friend come in from a shortcut with his son. He also wanted the same type of gift I was given. He was told that he didn’t pay the price; however, he insisted on taking mine, but I vehemently refused. That was when I woke up!
I played the film of this dream over and over again in my mind so as to get its meaning. My first concern was the dark forest. I knew straightaway that I was about to walk through a road I had never taken in life. True to it, I walked through that road. It was a difficult and horrendous moment, but beholding the end of the horror as I saw in my sleep was my comfort. I knew I was about to suffer, but I also knew that the pain will bring me rewards. I was ready and willing to dare that wicked moment because I understood that that was the only way to the future I admire.
That dark forest was the forest of outright rejection even by people I don’t know and never wronged. No matter how much good I did, they just hated me. No matter how I inspire or motivate, they would only steal from me but never referenced or acknowledged me.
That dark forest was the forest of poverty. I couldn’t afford to pay my rent and so my family and I were kicked out of the house. We were homeless.
It was tough for us; we didn’t pretend that it wasn’t, but we weren’t willing to bow to adversity. We wept but we comforted ourselves and kept believing that we will come out of where life thinks it had chained us.
I am not asking you not to cry; what I am saying is that you should cry but keep going. I am not telling you not to be afraid; what I am saying is that you should be afraid but keep moving. Despise your fears and dare the situation. By that alone, you will succeed. No one succeeds without being intimidated by fears. Don’t just let it stop you.
I am never afraid to try. I am never afraid to dare. I don’t dread daring, and for that, I know that life will fairly reward me. What are you scared of? What you’re scared of has been attempted many times by other people, so what’s your stress?
I fear to fly because many times, I wonder how that heavy thing can be stable in the air without moving on a solid surface. Please don’t tell me any science behind it; I once taught Physics, but in spite of that, I still can’t comprehend it. But do you know what? Despite that fear, I still fly!
Fly to that height you want to reach. The obstacles will be there but still fly. Run that distance you want to run. The bollards will be there but still run. Run with your fears, and as you take that action, bit by bit, the fears will tarnish. Be the hero you were born to be, and learn how to stop letting fear control you. Dare your fears!