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MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN SOMEONE’S LIFE

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Rising From Inferiority Complex To Change Your World

If you’re determined to make a difference even when you’re the weakest, you’ll become the bravest. Touching someone, helping someone, or making an impact isn’t the outcome of strength – it is the weak, the unnoticed or the unrecognised and unappreciated, not looking at themselves from the ugly perception of other people, but summoning the courage to rise up from inferiority and being belittled, to jump into the straying ship, and navigate it to safety, in spite of their meagre skills. There are many straying ships, and in it are most people in the demography of youths. There are some other straying ships – those that have given up to deteriorating health conditions. How about the straying ships of indebtedness, suicide, broken relationships, and many more? Imagine the straying ships of failed dreams, hopes and expectations! There are many in the streets that were born with hopes, but age with hopelessness – not of their own making. There are many that have done what should be done, said what should be said, and lived how it should be lived, but the results are abysmal – they need someone to tell them that besides money and fame, they are a huge success to planet earth. If that’s all you can say, and you really mean it, you have made a difference to life and humanity. You may not feature on the world’s biggest media. You may not go viral on social media. No one may even have noticed what you said except its intended target – inasmuch as the target gets the message, and responds to the message, you’re a hero – you have made a massive difference. The size of some ships is three times that of a football pitch, and yet, the wheels that control them are nothing compared to the ships themselves. If the wheels had looked down on themselves, and compared their magnitudes with that of their intended purposes, they would be idle, doing nothing but everything that defines laziness. The cornerstone, also known as foundation stone, is the first stone in the construction of a building, and all other stones are set in reference to it – it determines the position and direction of the entire building. The cornerstone is just an ordinary stone like every other one, and if it feels inferior by thinking that how can a mere stone dictate the position of a whole building, its essence of being there will be utterly defeated. Your size is inconsequential if you big up to your responsibility – you weren’t chosen because of your amplitude – you were chosen to do a job, and if you don’t have the capacity, you wouldn’t be there. It is a loss to anyone that rejects you, because it’s only builders without sense that reject stones that are sent.

If you daily behold yourself and come to the self realisation that you’re a person of influence, and that your influence isn’t measured by popularity, position or the amount of money in your pocket, your self confidence will be boosted. With self confidence, you’ll do more in life, and add more values to yourself and to other people. If you don’t allow yourself to be intimidated or to be bullied to submission by those who think they own the title deed to influence, and if you stay put in the coach heading in the direction of inspiration and aspiration, not for the aim of selfishness but for the reason of self-abnegation, in a positive way, you’ll be considered a successful person.

When I talk about being a person of influence, I’ll never be tired of telling the story of the positive impact my late maternal grandmother had on me. Like I have said many times in my books and articles, my late father abandoned us for our mum to cater for – and when I say us, it’s because I was born an identical twin – my twin brother died when we were in secondary school. To make it worse, my mum never really took responsibilities – it was her mum that did the job. Until I grew up, my grandmother was the only mother I had, even after her demise. And until I knew how to exhale, she remained my only mother. My desire to be educated, in spite of the financial incapacities was her making. She had no money, but she taught me how to fight and succeed without money. As little kids, we would sit by her side and listen to the stories of our background – all the actions that took place, and how out of cowardice, my father neglected his responsibilities. She would tell us to embrace education, so that one day, we would be able to write a letter to our father to say despite his rejection, we came out on top. Then, I used to wonder if I would be able to write a letter, but today, I can obviously write more than a letter. Because of her influence, I was determined to study up to a postgraduate degree level. In the same vein, I am raising my children – doing all I can to be a person of positive influence.

Until now, I haven’t told this story. I have two kids – the older one is a girl, while the last is a boy. When they were growing up, I mean, under the age of ten, the girl was in every way, far better than the boy, in terms of comprehending information and knowledge. He was so bad that my wife and I wondered how he would be able to cope in school. The easiest knowledge, the very things around him, were so oblivious to him – he was severely backward. I was so worried that sometimes, I would be hard on him, and a number of times, my toughness was to the limit. But one conviction I had, especially through my assessment of his IQ, was that he was a very intelligent boy, but was mentally lazy. I knew if I found a way to get that laziness off him, and make him understand the essence of taking responsibilities, he would live his real identity. One thing I discovered when he was two, was that he has a mathematical brain, and that telling him to write long compositions would be difficult for him. My observation began to come to life when in his school reports, his teachers kept commenting that he has an unusual way of solving mathematics, and in almost all his reports, they would call him a mathematician. In spite of that, I knew he was operating far below his potentials, and that I needed to get that genius out of him. It was rough, tough and most times, frustrating, but today, it’s a different story. He has improved in every area with As and Bs, but mathematics being his favourite. I was so impressed when in his first year in secondary school, his picture was displayed in the notice board for six weeks as one of the best mathematicians in his year. My wife and I were ready to impose a positive influence on a child that was about to be classed as special need – I resisted the attempt for them to do it, and I told them that I know my child, and that I understood what the problem was, and that I would deal with it. We actually dealt with it. Today, he competes with the sister that is a year higher than him in school, and they’re already preparing for their GCSE Maths and English, with the target to score As. The impact I have on my kids is a knock-on effect of what I got from my maternal grandma, who was never educated, but the most intelligent woman I ever met.

You may not be able to make a difference in other people, but you can, to yourself. You may not be able to change the world, but you can change your world – you can move from one level to the other. No one may know you, but you know yourself. If you can just take the first step, the energy to take the second will be made available. To make a difference to your life, you must take that first step – it’s all you need to succeed in your endeavour. Don’t turn your back on the tunnel that’s meant to take you to the other side of life. From where you stand, the tunnel looks dark and unpredictable, but if it leads to where success is actualised, dare it and go into it. I am not guaranteeing that it will be easy, and the truth is that it wouldn’t, but if you are committed to bear the pains for a while, you’ll celebrate when you get to the other end. Change isn’t magical – it is you that must move first, before every other thing moves – without your cooperation, everything will remain comatose. I reiterate that you may not be able to change the world, but you can change your world, and if that’s the only thing you’re able to do, you’re a hero. You may not be able to change your community, but imagine the good you’ll do to your community if you’re able to change your family – it means less job for the police to do because your children will stay away from crime.

Making a difference does not always portray mega actions, but those very so called infinitesimal contributions can tilt a status quo from negativity to positivity. So, add your bits to life by doing beats that are symphonic – add to life, a harmony that can make everyone wriggle in the right direction. Don’t stand still, and when you move, turn right – no loitering, no standing, keep moving!

 

 

 

 

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Ken is a leadership Motivation, Strategy and Personal Development Writer, Blogger and Speaker. He writes for a number of magazines and blogs. He is also a mentor and published author of several books.

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