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HOW I DARED MY FEARS AND BEAT MY NIGHTMARES

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Daring is not stupidity. It is not taking uncalculated risks. It is facing the bully face to face, and saying to him, “You can’t stop me.”

Many threatening situations have tried to stop me physically, mentally and spiritually. For years, I feared many things, and for the fears, I unjustly limited my ability to make a difference in my world. One big lesson I have learnt is that when fear can’t stop you physically, it goes into your dreams to cause you nightmares. The dangerous aspect of nightmares is that it plays with your mentality and emotions. Because anything that affects your mind affects your life, your health and physical wellbeing will begin to dwindle. Fear is the worst killer. Its armoury is nightmare. Dare your fears. Dare your nightmares.

I will repeat a story I told in one of my previous books. One day, in my dream, I was walking along a road trying to make headway. At that point in my life, for real, everything was sour. It was like I was falling down a bottomless pit. The more I made efforts, the more I failed. I became an object of ridicule because life itself didn’t just incarcerate me but sent me on exile. But I was determined to survive!

In that dream, I got to a point on the road where the next bit of the journey was to walk through a dark forest. Without walking through it, the only alternative would be to go back. As I didn’t want to go back to the same level of life, I decided to dare this frightening forest. And as I walked into it, I couldn’t see myself, let alone other objects, as it was unimaginably dark. I was extremely terrified; nevertheless, I kept going. My determination took me to a point where I began to notice moving vehicles on a road beside the forest, and with their headlamps, I regained visibility. The lights from the cars guided me until I came out of the forest to a high street. The high street was flooded with light.

My journey continued on that high street until I came to a house which was my final destination. In that house, those who made the journey without cutting corners were being rewarded. I was handed a beautiful gift.

What followed after I collected my gift was interesting. I saw a friend come in from a shortcut with his son. He also wanted the same type of gift I was given. He was told that he didn’t pay the price; however, he insisted on taking mine, but I vehemently refused. That was when I woke up!

I played the film of this dream over and over again in my mind so as to get its meaning. My first concern was the dark forest. I knew straightaway that I was about to walk through a road I had never taken in life. True to it, I walked through that road. It was a difficult and horrendous moment, but beholding the end of the horror as I saw in my sleep was my comfort. I knew I was about to suffer, but I also knew that the pain will bring me rewards. I was ready and willing to dare that wicked moment because I understood that that was the only way to the future I admire.

That dark forest was the forest of outright rejection even by people I don’t know and never wronged. No matter how much good I did, they just hated me. No matter how I inspire or motivate, they would only steal from me but never referenced or acknowledged me.

That dark forest was the forest of poverty. I couldn’t afford to pay my rent and so my family and I were kicked out of the house. We were homeless. That period, $1 was like $1M. Then, I remember one family friend telling me that she bought a second hand $50 bicycle for her daughter, and in my head, I was wondering why someone would spend a whole $50 buying an ordinary bicycle. This was me, who before then would have spent over $200 buying bicycles for my children.

That dark forest was the forest of sicknesses and diseases. Part of my defecation for about three months was blood. I also started having some silly rashes on my body. Me, who hardly visited my General Practitioner, became a regular visitor. I was pissed off as I feared for my life. My worst fear was that it wasn’t just me, my family too was affected. But in all, we survived.

That dark forest was the forest of the United Kingdom Immigration continuously refusing to legalise our stay in the country. For those who haven’t been through this, you wouldn’t know the torture involved; the torture of not being able to access any service that should get you going in life. You can’t have a bank account, let alone, driving licence. You live in perpetual fear. If you see the Police, you panic. God save you if you come across the immigration officers.

You won’t believe what I did in those days. In spite of my so called fear, I went ahead to self-publish two books. The craziest thing I did was to host a TV program on one of United Kingdom’s Christian TV channels. As if that wasn’t enough, I featured for about two years on an online radio station, and for a few months, ran a motivational show on an FM radio station!

My determination was that it is better to be caught doing something than to be caught doing nothing. When my wife and I were invited to feature on a relationship program on one of United Kingdom’s ethnic minority TV stations, the host had no clue that we were illegal immigrants because we never carried our pains on our foreheads. It was tough for us; we didn’t pretend that it wasn’t, but we weren’t willing to bow to adversity. We wept but we comforted ourselves and kept believing that we will come out of where life thinks it had chained us.

I am not asking you not to cry; what I am saying is that you should cry but keep going. I am not telling you not to be afraid; what I am saying is that you should be afraid but keep moving. Despise your fears and dare the situation. By that alone, you will succeed. No one succeeds without being intimidated by fears. Don’t just let it stop you.

Still walking on a road in another dream, I came in contact with a massive deep pond that cut me off from reaching the other side. At the other end were the good things of life but where I was, was the place of struggle without results. When I got to the pond, I became stagnant because I couldn’t swim. Then, I said to myself, “I don’t want to remain here. I want to get to the other end. I will dare by jumping into the pond. Maybe I will be able to swim.” I jumped into that pond, and surprisingly, I saw myself swimming. I reached the other end; walked on that road to the end, and then woke up.

I am never afraid to try. I am never afraid to dare. I don’t dread daring, and for that, I know that life will fairly reward me. What are you scared of? What you’re scared of has been attempted many times by other people, so what’s your stress?

I fear to fly because many times, I wonder how that heavy thing can be stable in the air without moving on a solid surface. Please don’t tell me any science behind it; I once taught Physics, but in spite of that, I still can’t comprehend it. But do you know what? Despite that fear, I still fly!

Fly to that height you want to reach. The obstacles will be there but still fly. Run that distance you want to run. The bollards will be there but still run. Run with your fears, and as you take that action, bit by bit, the fears will tarnish. Be the hero you were born to be. Dare your fears!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ken is a leadership Motivation, Strategy and Personal Development Writer, Blogger and Speaker. He writes for a number of magazines and blogs. He is also a mentor and published author of several books.